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#153 Race & Representation In The Wedding Industry

In this special episode, we have the talented wedding planner, Tamara Jones. After a very poignant email from listener, Felicia Reid, we hope to begin to address some of the glaring roadblocks and differences that appear as a person of color planning a wedding. As well as address ways that all of us can help increase inclusivity in the wedding world.Big TakeawaysAs we continue the dialogue, we must ask the questions of inclusivity and experience up front. There needs to be more visibility. If the photographer doesn’t know how to shoot skin color that isn’t white, why would you hire him for a wedding for people of color? It’s important to vet, and that makes the pool of vendors smaller for sure.Even if you are a cis straight white couple, it would be powerful and extremely important for the future of weddings to only hire those who are comfortable, and trained to work with all types of clients. For the last several years, the same dozen or so wedding planners have won “best wedding planner” awards, and of those dozen, there are never any people of color represented.The website will be the first look at any vendor, and knowing that who you connect with is what you expected to connect with is helpful! Since it’s such a large search with tons of result, it might be nice to look for vendors that have employees that look like you, or have copy that speaks to you, and then go from there.Overall, some of the most important qualities to be looking for are consciousness, openness and authenticity.Links we referencedhttps://tamarajevents.comThe Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
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#152 Festivals, Food Trucks & Weddings

Desirée Adams is a wedding planner in Upstate New York who creates heirloom occasions for modern couples. After seven years producing high-level events for internationally-recognized companies in Washington, DC, she took a break to focus on her young children. But she couldn't stay away for long. Three years and three moves later, she founded Verve Event Co. in 2017.Focusing on efficiency and artful design, Desirée helps couples enjoy planning their modern wedding so they still have time for #allthethings. For her, life is too short to waste it on moments without meaning.Big TakeawaysThough the idea of having your favorite band play your wedding might be super dreamy, keep in mind they might not know all they need to bring and be ready for. It is important to be sure the communication is excellent there, because unless they are a proper wedding band they probably aren’t thinking about the logistics.They also likely are not local, so there is the need to consider the costs of travel, lodging, av equipment, etc.If you are going for the wedding festival feel, the main focus is usually on the music. Food trucks can be a fun alternative to catering. The guests can wander between food and the band. However, with the trucks there is no formal time aside for toasts. So it is important to think about the structure of the whole day. Food trucks do have a higher per person cost, since guests should be allowed to go up multiple times. It’s important to think about how the trash will be collected, will you hire bussers? Without a proper catering team, you must be thinking about all the elements of the night.It’s super important to consider the space you are doing this festival wedding in. Weather happens! Be in a space that allows some craziness, drainage for a downpour, room for the guests to wander, etc.Have a plan b and a plan c in case it does rain!Safety and security are huge if you’re planning something like this.*Links We Referenced: *VerveEventCo.comFacebook, instagram, pinterest: @verveeventcoThe Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
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#151 You Ask, We Answer - 20

Today’s episode is a You Ask, We Answer BONUS episode! We are answering questions from the facebook group.HMU TIMELINEAsk: Okay guys HELP! My wedding is in about 16 days and I am putting together my wedding day timeline. I have been going back-and-forth with my hair and make up team and my photographer about what time we should start and finish hair and make up and what time the photographer should show up. My photographer said he’s very flexible (as he is a friend of mine.) But this doesn’t help my hair and make up team because they want to know an exact time that he’s going to show up so she can be almost done. I have about eight people getting their hair done and I think like 4/5 people getting their make up done (including myself on this). hair and make up said that they would like to be done by 12 or one so I can start taking photos with my girls and my mom. The ceremony starts at 5:30, do you guys think this is too early or is this normal? I dont have a wedding planner. So it’s all on me right now. 😬 thanks for the help i hope this name sense!Alterations!Ask: Hi everyone! I recently had my first alterations appointment. The alterations were $800 for adding lace sleeves, hemming, and taking in different places in the torso. The seamstress complained a lot about how difficult the lace would be to take apart (there are two layers sewn together) to make the sleeves, but that still seems really expensive.The second was that they wanted me to come in the week of my wedding for my last fitting, and only scheduled my next fitting for August. That seems like a really compressed time schedule and they said no when I asked to pick up the dress the weekend before the wedding.I’m thinking of emailing them to confirm that a) the $800 is the final price for alterations (since they didn’t write the total on the slip I signed) and b) ask to pick it up the previous week (even on a weekday). Is that reasonable? Thanks in advance!!!More about KidsAsk: As someone who doesn't have children I'm struggling with this a bit...I was just tackling our seating chart when I realized that not all babies will need a seat and of course some will need high chairs. At what age should you provide a high chair vs. no chair at all?Sunset picsAsk: I need some help with figuring out the start of my ceremony. Sunset will be at 6:24pm in Dallas on my wedding day, 2-29-20. I’m pro first look and ceremony should be about 30 mins.Links we referencedhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/http://birdygrey.com/Join our Mailing List!The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#150 Will You Marry Us?

Just because your friend is officiating your wedding, doesn’t mean it has to feel amateur and boring. Mark Groleau is a professional wedding officiant, and he runs the company “Unboring Wedding.” Not only does he work with couples to officiate a personal, and lovely ceremony. But he can also teach your friend to do the same!Big TakeawaysOver-customizing isn’t unnecessary. Not many people have unlimited free time to retreat and construct the perfect ceremony. Remember that you are not the only vendor for the wedding. Maintain as tight and effective communication as possible. Remember the couple has soooo much to focus on, and you were chosen to take the weight off their shoulders.Mark offers wonderful workshops and training for the officiants. He teaches how to be part of the most unboring wedding, how to be comfortable, and how to have a wonderful ceremony. He follows a ten-part ceremony: opening remarks, the processional, introduce the couple, vows, ring exchange, pronouncement, kiss, signing, quick remarks, and present the couple.It can be really wonderful to have a close friend officiate your wedding. The emotional connection is powerful. Mark can help make sure that friend is also prepared for the day, so the couple doesn’t have to sacrifice anything.*Other tips: *Don’t do a reading. Unless the couple has a special reading (book, poem, lyrics, etc) in mind. The officiant shouldn’t be choosing.How can you take more off the couple’s plate? Streamline! Don’t expect them to be able to work as hard as you on your particular role.Engage the audience, but remember, the wedding is about the couple, not about the officiant!Connect with the wedding planner! This should be a cohesive relationship.Links we referencedhttps://unboringwedding.comHttps://howtoofficiateawedding.caHttps://unboringofficiant.com/bigwedding ($279 for TBWPP listeners!)Quotes“I was like, I wanna be the guy. The guy when somebody googles, hen dad’s google, ‘how to officiate a wedding,’ I’m there. … I became what I wished existed.” - Mark“I’m the wedding planner for the big picture, but how nice that somebody else, who is going to be leading the ceremony, actually took the wheel a little more, during that hour.” - Christy“I’ll kick it off, I’m going to introduce you as the ninja of the logistics and you know everything about everything.” - Mark“The confidence of someone saying ‘this works, this doesn’t work’ is massive.” - MarkGet In TouchEMAIL: thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.comFACEBOOK: @TBWPpodcastINSTAGRAM: @thebigweddingplanningpodcastBE SURE TO USE THE HASHTAG: #planthatweddingTWITTER: @TBWPpodcastPHONE: (415) 723-1625 Leave us a message and you might hear your voice on the show!PATREON: www.patreon.com/thebigweddingplanningpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#149 - You Ask, We Answer - 19

Questions AnsweredQuestion #1My wedding is next may, in 2020. I wanna know where I should put the Horrah on the timeline, since I’m a Jewish bride. The wedding is in a historic mansion, it has a tented terrace, that’s attached. The dinner will be in the tent, next to the band and the dance floor, and there’s connecting doors that will be open in between. We have a seated dinner and cocktail hour before dancing. So, I was thinking maybe we could come down this curved staircase to the dance floor for the introduction, and immediately go into the Horrah. But is it weird to do that before the dinner service?Question #2I am getting married next month, and after listening to your bonus episode about lighting, I decided to book uplights for our reception through our dj. He originally told me I could have two colors, one for dinner and one for dancing...but now that it is time to pick the color, he says we can only have one color. I don't know what to choose. I was going to do the amber color you suggested for dinner and then bright pink for dancing, but now I don't know which one to pick.So, long story short, should I have it be the "dinner color" all the way through the night or the "dancing color"? Also, keep in mind that since its July the sun won't be setting until around 9pm and our reception is from 7-11 (cocktail hour is earlier in a different room). So maybe it won't show much during dinner anyway?Question #3While me and my long-term boyfriend have agreed that we will not get married for another 3-5 years, I want to start saving now so I'm not as financially screwed as my loved ones were.What type of account would you recommend? A savings account, or a CD, or another option? Also- which banks should I look into/steer clear of? I have started doing some comparison shopping myself, but I would really appreciate your expert opinions. Additionally, I will be splitting everything with my intended, so asking my parents for a handout is not an option. Any advice on saving for a wedding is very appreciated.Question #4How can we make sure that our ceremony is unplugged? Israelis hate being told what to do. I was thinking of planting some friends and family and telling them to watch out for people using phones. Or would it be too intrusive to have a check-in system?Links We Mentionedhttp://www.dreamalittledreamevents.comhttps://www.acorns.com/https://creditcards.chase.com/marriott/cardmember/rewards_benefitshttps://www.ally.com/The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#148 Small Details, Big Impact - Valley & Co.

Weddings are a special day, and though you want them to be beautiful and picturesque, it is also important to create a unique experience and long lasting memories. Aleah and Nick Valley of Valley and Co share about their favorite wedding experiences, their coffee table book "Storied Weddings," and give loads of great advice on how to make a great day no matter how big the wedding.Big TakeawaysYou are not planning just a photoshoot, you're planning a memory. Great pictures are the ones that are taken at a great event. You want to enjoy the memories for life. It's so helpful to make the event for everyone. Help your guests find the lay of the land right away. Where are they sitting? Where are the bathrooms? Where should they hang their coats, etc? Maybe have greeters who provide a beverage upon arrival and answer all these questions.If you are planning on giving favors at your wedding, think about whether the guests can use it or eat it. If not, then think about using the money on something else to make the big day special. Small mementos are not make or break and should be an enjoyable possession after the wedding is over.Links we referencedhttps://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/storied-weddings-aleah-valley/1127704592#/https://www.valleyandco.comhttps://www.instagram.com/valleyandco/https://www.facebook.com/valleyandco/The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#147 From Boston to LA - Christy & Michelle Live!

Michelle and Christy record together from LA - to frame the narrative for their Boston visit earlier this year to emcee at WED 2019. We were also lucky enough to meet many of our Boston listeners at our first ever Meetup and it was so fun!!We had a wonderful time at WED - an interactive, educational experience as the emcees. We also got to record live with attendees (and some of their moms!) at the event and we loved it! We hope you enjoy this special, bi-coastal episode.Big Takeaways:Get a month of coordinator for distant weddings. It helps to have someone on site to get the details taken care of!If people are traveling to your wedding, a camp is a great option! There are lots of activities for the guests to enjoy, and everything is right there in one place.Bridal salons can be a great solution when finding a dress has become a nightmare task. You should enjoy that process.Look back on the weddings you or your parents have attended, to see what did and didn’t work. Use whatever resources you can so you don’t go in blind.If you are bringing your own alcohol, you may be able to return what was not used. As long as there is no damage to the packaging.Pay for good lighting, it’s worth it.The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#146 ”Marriage Means Family” A Transgender Wedding

Brenda and Mason have been through a lot to get to where they are now: newlyweds celebrating each day they have together as a married couple. In this episode, a couple shares their individual stories of transitions that led them to each other, and explain what marriage means to them.Big TakeawaysSelf realization plays a huge part in the love story of Brenda and Mason. Each came to their true identities later in life, although they took pretty opposite roads to get there. When they met, they fell in "love at first sight." The journey from there to the altar was brief. But the journey to self love that each of them took prior to that first date was the more profound step to their happily ever after. You know the old saying - you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. Or something like that...you know the one. The vague platitude has never been more true than in Brenda and Mason’s case.For many LGBTQI couples, a wedding day has a different meaning and tone to it. First of all - the guests there may be a chosen family, as in Brenda and Mason’s wedding. And the act of marriage itself - the choice - carries a ton of meaning, because it wasn’t available, legally, even a few years ago. Marriage is not something that transgender couples take for granted. It is not an inevitable decision, to enter into marriage, like it is for so many straight cis-gender couples.Mason summed it up beautifully when he said that for him, marriage means family. It’s simple and it’s vital. It means that when Brenda and Mason go out together as a couple, today, living their truth, they don’t feel questioned. It means that Mason beams with pride every time he refers to Brenda as his wife. It means that they ride in the same car when caravaning to an event. Each has chosen to transition in life, and each questioned whether a traditional wedding and marriage would ever be possible. It is. And they never take it for granted.This episode is personal and we feel honored to tell their story - or rather, to listen as they tell it. Visibility, representation, and equality are all important to us and we’re proud to use our platform to reflect that. We sincerely hope you like this episode as much as we liked producing it!Links we referencedwww.indochino.com promo code BIGWEDDING (any premium suit for $359!)The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#145 You Ask, We Answer - 18

Questions AnsweredFB Group Question - Room FlipAsk: As a bride, is there anything I can prepare ahead of time to make sure this goes smoothly? How did you organize your decor to make it easier for the staff/wedding planner? Thanks!Email - Red Flag On Vendor ContractI was reaching out because we were reading their contract and came across what we believe is a red flag. The contract had a "disparagement" clause, which I'm sure you guys may have seen when reviewing contracts? I dug a little deeper and wanted to get your opinion on some of the things I realized. I guess in the excitement and the fact they worked for Disney Weddings previously (I love Disney and used to work their too!), I didn't ask all the questions I should have. I'm going to ask these at the contract review, but I realized or assuming it seems they're actually new to the local scene. I asked during the interview process what their favorite wedding was to work on and they named a stylized shoot they did in town, which was beautiful and how I actually found them - which is how I think they're getting themselves out in the market. They must have partnered together after working with each other at Disney? I'm going to ask again in more detail about their experience, so maybe they'll be willing to negotiate, but besides that do you have any advice on how to go about pushing it in that direction?Email - How to THANK ParentsAsk: My fiancé and I would like to thank our parents somehow during the wedding or on the wedding weekend. I have thought about maybe paying for our moms to go the spa or something like that and I definitely want to make a very short thank you speech during the speeches of the wedding. But can’t think of anything else, do you guys have any suggestions for ways to thank parents at weddings? Things that you have seen or done yourselves? We just want to show them how much we appreciate them in some way even if it’s a little thing that we can do.Thank you again for any help you can give in advance, I know you are both super busy and I really appreciate the time you give to all your listeners.FB Group Question - Friend as Day of CoordinatorAsk: Unfortunately, we are unable to afford a month-of-coordinator for our November wedding. We have a close family friend (who is organized) that was gracious enough to fill in for that position on our wedding day (so lucky). Does anyone have advice for what I’ll need to do to prepare and help her prepare for the big day? I want to make sure this is as seamless as possible for her. Thank you in advance!!Links we referencedOur sponsors for this episode! https://www.zola.com/bigweddingJoin Our Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/TBWPP/Join our Mailing List!The Big Wedding Planning Podcast is...Hosted and produced by Michelle Martinez.
Edited by Veronica Gruba
Music by Steph Altman of Mophonics
On Instagram @thebigweddingplanningpodcast and be sure to use #planthatwedding when posting, so you can get our attention!
Inviting you to become part of our Facebook Group! Join us and our amazing members. Just search for The Big Wedding Planning Podcast Community on Facebook.
Easy to get in touch with. Email us at thebigweddingplanningpodcast@gmail.com or Call and leave a message at 415-723-1625 and you might hear your voice on an episode
On Patreon. Become a member and with as little as $6.99 per month, you get 2 exclusive, ad-free episodes, + Zoom Happy Hour with Michelle and fellow patrons every month!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

#144 Spotlight Series: Birdy Grey Bridesmaid Dresses

Birdy Grey has revolutionized the hunt for the perfect bridesmaid dress. After realizing the accessibility, and quality of bridesmaid dresses didn’t reflect the price, two best friends, Grace Lee (formerly of InStyle Magazine and Kate Spade New York) and Monica Ashauer (of McKinsey and Co, and Ralph Lauren) started this company offering beautiful, well-made dresses for under $100.
Big Takeaways
There are 15 styles and 15 colors to choose from, meaning that every dress can match without having to try to fit different bodies in one style dress. The dresses are made to be easy to tailor, so find a style you love and adjust it to your height preference afterward. The lining of the dresses feels like a t-shirt, soft and flattering, so you don’t have to be wishing you could change out of your dress the whole night. Also, all the dresses have pockets big enough to fit an iPhone X, so keep your flask, your blotting papers, anything without adding any extra bulkiness.
Quotes
"Monica and I are best friends, but we are completely opposite in skill sets... She has the exact sort of complementary skill set to mine." - Grace
"A lot of the clients that I served were in beauty and in luxury, so I really started to gravitate towards that, because it's so much more fun than semiconductors." - Monica
"Now you just tell your friends, I won't be your bridesmaid, but I'll certainly give you a dress." - Michelle
"We try to keep it real at Birdy Grey. You're probably not going to wear a dusty rose or blush ruffled dress again, after the wedding. I will say that we do have some pieces in our collection that lend itself nicely to other black-tie events." - Grace
Links We Referenced
Birdy Grey https://www.birdygrey.com/
The Princess Project http://princessproject.org/get-a-dress/
Project Sunshine https://projectsunshine.org
The promo code! BIGWEDDING for free shipping from now - June 27,2019 (US only)
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